Although it may sound like a salacious porn film (come on you know you were thinking that) Golden Exits is most definitely not. It’s the complete opposite. It is a naval gazing, buttoned up look at the ultra white self-indulgent middle classes in New York by a young white man. Sound exciting? No? Well that’s because ultimately it isn’t exciting and it really isn’t anything we haven’t seen in some variation or another (Anderson and Baumbach do this stuff way better) sorry Alex Perry.
Emily Browning plays Naomi, a HOT 26 YEAR OLD who comes from Australia to work with Nick, an archivist who has ben paid by his neurotic sister in law (Mary Louise Parker) and his wife (Chloe Sevigny) to archive their parents lives. I capitalise the hotness of Naomi because it seems to be her redeeming feature according to Perry. Naomi then spends some time with Jason Schwartzman’s character and the boring existence of this microcosm of Brooklyn life trundles along. Nick’s wife thinks he is fucking Naomi, Nick tries to fuck Naomi, and Naomi tries to fuck Jason Schwartzman. Finally, one really just wants them all to fuck off.
Don’t get me wrong; Golden Exits isn’t bad it’s just not got anything about it that personally rendered it likeable or memorable. Perry has assembled a fantastic cast – Chloe Sevigny, Mary Louise Parker, Jason Schwartzman, Adam Horovitz and Emily Browning for fucks sake - Beastie Boys AND Lemony Snickets alumni, two of my favourite things! And Perry wastes them to be honest, they are all brilliant but it;s the film that fails them. Ultimately it just feels pointless. Emily Browning’s character Naomi seems to veer wildly between ultra high morals and simultaneously trying to fuck someone’s husband and the other female characters are generally neurotic or missing their husbands who are on the cusp of fucking Naomi. Sigh.
As the film drew to a close. , Although I had garnered some enjoyment from the performances, my overriding feeling was – what was the point of that?